the crossroads

Yesterday was the last day

 we had with my dearest

before he left on a missions trip

to Mexico.

He usually goes once a year.

This year has been no exception.

I miss him dreadfully

while he's gone

and always feel myself

pulling away

to protect my heart...

ALL of the "what if"s

flood my mind...

a place I would rather

not go to!

He and I had planned to take our blessings out for lunch

and then go golfing

(since that is something they all really love to do together).

If I go along,

I drive the cart

and cheer them on...

sometimes, even snap

a few shots with our camera :)

The day was going as "planned"...

you know, the ideas that you would like

to do in a day,

but often aren't able to get to

for this reason or that...

Around 9PM, we got a call

from one of the other team leaders...

the flight out of Grand Island for the next morning

had been cancelled.

Grand Island is just an hour away,

and the team had planned on leaving

at 4AM Saturday morning

for their 7AM flight out of Grand Island.

A flight at 6AM out of Omaha

was available...

but that meant

the team would need

to leave around midnight...

might I add that tickets for

all 18 team members

were available for

this flight!

AMAZING!!

It was at that point in the evening

that I realized that my husband

had already left on the trip.

Sure he was still with us phsically,

but with all of the phone calls

back and forth with a few of the

team leaders and calls to our own team members,

he was "in the zone."

Have you ever been at a cross-roads

of decision making

and response to circumstances?

That's exactly where I found myself!

I could literally feel myself

wanting to burst into

tears

and demand to have those few hours,

that I had thought

 we would have,

back.

Certainly, that isn't model

behavior

nor an attitude that is supportive

of my husband's calling

and therefore, my calling...

not at all...

BUT, this was the crossroads that I stood at...

how to react,

how to react...

after all,

nothings takes God by surprise.

He knew

when he founded the world

that their flight

would be canceled.

He also knew

that my husband

would be helping to train

other pastors in Mexico

about Him...

pastors who mostly

have NO seminary training.

He knew that

others on the team

would be helping to build a cistern

for the city...

that the city had requested their help!

He knew...

He knew...

He knew...

AND, He never lets anything

happen to me

that hasn't been okayed

by Him.

He knew...

and He can be trusted

to have the best in mind.

So, as I contemplated all of this...

most especially God's goodness,

I realized that

this man that I love

and married

is doing the best

thing for us...

following God.

How could I honestly

be frustrated?!

I am so thankful

for...

his passion to teach God's Word,

his care for us,

his faithful, steady following after God.

I love him dearly...

but more, ever so more than that,

I respect him...

and because of that,

my choice of response

is to be nothing but

supportive of him...

to make the most of the time

I have "solo" with

my blessings.

*************************************************************

Lord,

Thank You for these

sweet days...

days where my beloved is serving You...

days where my blessings and I are loving time together...

days of the summer when we have no

schedule...

Thank You...

"All the days ordained for me

were written in your book

before one of them came to be..."

Psalm 139:16

"The Lord is my light and my salvation--

whom shall I fear?

The Lord is the stronghold of my life--

of whom shall I be afraid?"

Psalm 27:1

"Before I formed you

in the womb,

I knew you..."

Jeremiah 1:5

"One day the angels came to present themselves before the Lord, and Satan also came with them.

The Lord said to Satan, 'Where have you come from?'

Satan answered the Lord, 'From roaming through the earth and going back and forth in it.'

Then the Lord said to Satan, 'Have you considered my servant Job?  There is no one on earth like him;

he is blameless and upright, a man who fears God and shuns evil.'

'Does Job fear God for nothing?' Satan replied. 'Have you not put a hedge around him and his

household and everything he has?  You have blessed the work on his hands, so that his flocks and

herds are spread throughout the land.  But stretch out your hand and strike everything he has, and he

will surely curse you to your face.'

The Lord said to Satan, 'Very well, then, everything he has is in your hands,

but on the man himself do not lay a finger.'

Then Satan went out from the presence of the Lord.' "

Job 1:6-12

(God has to give permission for anything that comes our way...)