grief is...

grief is like...

going through childbirth

in a glass room

with everyone

as the audience

 

as another jolting pain

comes

each audience member

takes their turn

to approach

me in

my pain

with at least one

question,

"How are you doing?"

 

CAN'T YOU SEE?!

I'm giving birth...

I'm in the middle

of the most

painful event

of my entire life!

 

only this birth

doesn't lead

to a sweet

cuddly

adorable

baby

 

this birth

this pain

leads

to loss

 

HOW AM I?!

I'm in

pain,

I've had a part of me

and my family

ripped away

this side of heaven

 

HOW AM I?!

the barrage of

questions

is never-ending

 

and the

answers

evade me

 

HOW AM I?!

normal life-function

and normal

life-events

take

effort

 

HOW AM I?!

words spoken

cannot

bring back

what is gone

gone

gone

 

HOW AM I?!

remarks

however

meaningful

cut

they cut the flesh

of a broken

heart

 

words that can usually be

cast aside

find their way

to the depths

of my being

and

cause another

wave of

nauseous

vomitous

pain

 

HOW AM I?!

struggling

to

just be

a wife

and a mom

with

no other expectations

answering

only to the

one I gave my life to

and the One Whose life

was given for me

 

HOW AM I?!

falling

face to the floor

weeping

groaning

sighing

and

catching my breath

waiting for another wave

of pain to come

and go

 

HOW AM I?!

clinging to

grasping for

the promises

I find

in His Word

to

rest

be still

find peace in Him

look to Him

waiting on Him

 

HOW AM I?!

in pain

but trusting

trusting that

He in His

time

will bring

healing

to this

broken

heart

in pain

from the

loss

known only

this side of heaven

 

**********************

"The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them;

He delivers them from all their troubles.

The LORD is close to the brokenhearted

and saves those who are crushed in spirit."

Psalm 34:17, 18

 

"Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for Him..."

Psalm 37:7a

 

"I waited patiently for the LORD;

He turned to me and heard my cry.

He lifted me out of the slimy pit,

out of the mud and mire;

He set my feet on a rock

and gave me a firm place to stand.

He put a new song in my mouth

a hymn of praise to our God.

Many will see and fear

and put their trust in the LORD."

Psalm 40:1-3

 

"Weeping may remain for a night,

but rejoicing comes in the morning."

Psalm 30:5b

 

********************************

Lord,
Thank you for your promises to us...that though we may weep because of our great loss,
You will heal our hearts.  You are close to us.
Thank you.